Clowning Around With Planet Earth

"Okey dokey pizza face, put your hands up. Higher! Reach for the stars, it's payback time. Which of you boozn' buffoons was laughing at my pink fuzzy pinafore? All you fat ass's now bend over and touch your toes, or take a zombie round between the eyes. Now reach for the stars. Now touch your toes again. Up, down. Up, down. Up, down."

"Keepm' busy Cheeta while I run a search on what these clowns have been up to. You boys better do what he says, Cheeta looks a little pissed off if you ask me, and he tends to have an itchy trigger finger."

Loud flatulent gas noises erupt as the clowns reach for the sky and bend to touch their toes.

"Ooh, peperoni and rotten' mushrooms! You nasty, nasty, boys. You're truly full of it. No wonder you're dressed in those over sized outfits." The monkey waves one hand back and forth to clear the air while still holding the automatic pistol in the other.

Marshall Elmo Hallberg and highway trooper Giuseppe Cheeta, cuff the fat arsed flatulent clowns and herd them into the back of a county police van.

Elmo shouts as the van drives away, "Don't worry boys, you'll be whipped into shape in no time, and I'll be keeping my eye on you when you return, so better mind your P's & Q's."

Giuseppe Cheetamozzi unzips his monkey suit. "I really dislike having to play the big ape part in these sting operations. I like the C.H.P. outfit better."

"You like to ware those polished motorcycle boots don't you?" Marshall Elmo laughs, "Stop by sometime soon, and I'll make you a cup of espresso with vanilla ice cream."

And so, as the afternoon light dims and snow falls gently on tall ciders , another days work is done. State Trooper Giuseppi Cheetamozzi and Marshall Elmo Hallberg have done their job of keeping the third planet from the sun safe from clowns who use, makeup, and sell drugs to children.