Montana Wildlife and Parks

Standing on the observation ramp at the rim of "Old Pucker" in Montana's little known "Backwater Biosphere Reserve" is young Heviner McLeash. He stands poised on the brink of a new discovery. Racked with emotional pain from the loss of his older girlfriends flame of fanning affections, Heviner McLeash inches a toe forward.
"Don't do it boy." said a high pitched voice from behind him. "Step back from edge. "Ya never know when "Old Pucker" there is gonna blow off some steam. Trust me boy, you don't want to be standing there when she lets loose."
"Who are you?" ask the young man.
"Ranger Symone. I'll tell you my last name, but first step away from the edge cuz you're liable loose your balance laughing and fall into that there pit. You do have a sense of humor don't you?"
"Sometimes life sucks." says the young man. His voice sounds cold, without a spark of emotion.
"Hell boy, you should be here in the Winter time if you're feeling a little blue. Yes sir, when Old Pucker freezes over it's a real tourist attraction. People from all over the world visit the park just to get a look at that old ice hole."

"My girlfriend says she doesn't love me, and wants to break-up."

"Oh Poo!" says ranger Simone.

"My girlfriend says I'm boring." Heviner turns slowly to look at the park ranger dressed in her crisp dark green uniform. He notices the chin strap of the Smokey-the-bear hat she is wearing is real tight, her cheeks are sooth as a baby's bottom, compressed as if she just had a face-lift by a over zealous South American plastic surgeon. Several strains of bright red hair play peek-a-boo from her loose fitting hat band. The young man smiles.

"You drink coffee? I have a thermos of espresso in the jeep over there." she nods toward a new vehicle parked off the dirt road on the gravel parking lot. "You look as if you could use a little pick-me-up."

"Ya, sure." he says, and walks with the ranger towards the jeep.